my 2000 cents "essay" and thoughts on tf2 and life after 9000 hours

today

we talk about my thoughts on life(somewhat)

using tf2

by reading this

i assume you have already played tf2

so i dont have to explain everything






Q:what is happening in this image?

A:a baka fighting for his ideology and emotions in his own ways,even if it means the entire world may or may not be against him

and also a normal game of tf2

(seriously thr,who is lean?????)

first

the menu of chapters

<what is this "game" called tf2?>

<random crits>

<loadouts and tf2>

<most useless advice for heavy mains in 2022>

<tf2 and growth as a man>

<tf2 as a economic simulator 2022>

<appearance in tf2>

<tf2 and mind games>

<how do i become better at tf2 the shooter?>

<tf2 as a competitve battle field in different scopes>

<tf2 as a community sandbox> (and many other subtopics)

<tf2 and "talent">

<grand_finale>





now,the wall of text

<what is this "game" called tf2?>

tf2 is a "game"

everyone have different understanding of what a "game" is to them,and every have have their own <goals> 

for the developer,only the developers know what they want to do,and we can only guess it 

for player:traders,they just wanna trade and enjoy the economic part of tf2 

for player:competitve,some aim for short term victory,while some aim for long term self improvement,having fun comes from enjoying tf2 as a shooter 

for player:causal,having fun just means dancing some conga,playing rock paper scissor to them,their fun comes from the social part of tf2 

many different players have different goals in their mind.and the above only serves as a broad example of many many different kind of tf2 players 

just like real life 

some value monee 

some value their dreams 

some value for power

some just want a bit of everything

and all these different people with different goals that conflict with each other? 

they are all thrown into a big big bowl of life 

called team fortress 2 

instead of scoping tf2 as a 

food:cake,food:chocolate,food:snicker bar 

imo its more accurate to call tf2 as the concept of <food> itself 

tf2 is food 

food is tf2 

it contains endless possibilities 

endless different kind of food 

made by a lot of different people 

everyone come to this restaurant of tf2 

and tf2 asks them 

"hey there,what kind of food do you want today?" 

in tf2,you will see many different kind of foods 

and many different kind of customers 

just like real life 

for customer to understand each other,it is no easy task 

sometimes customers dont want to understand each other,

sometimes customers try to understand each other but it ends in miscommunication and a fight

sometimes customer understand each other but they still have to fight 

even so,

as long as customers exists 

some customers will still try to understand each other despite all odds 

my opinion? 

understanding each other is no easy task,but at the very least,try to agree to disagree,and respect how other customers tastes food


<random crits>

random crits are like a dice,an unpredictable factor in our life 

if we understand this dice 

then we will know that one part of how random crits work is more recent damage=higher crit chance

no matter how good we are at life or at tf2 

random crits will still exist 

but thats not a reason for us to be afraid of random crits and stop playing tf2,

as tf2 is more than just random crits 

is this "dice of luck" manipulate-able or not? 

can we make it roll towards our favor?

only by understanding it 

we can find out the "truth" that we decide for ourselves

 

 
<loadouts and tf2> 

pretty sure everyone else have already talked about this anyway so i will just skip most of it 

something something many different primary+secondary+melee= a lot of different experiences on a class 

so i am just gonna talk about the whip

the whip 

the weapon of self served altruism 

by whipping people 

you get a speed boost 

your teammate get a speed boost 

you save hp on rocket jumping to front lines 

and your teammate also goes to it faster 

then you can both fight together as 1+1>2 

positive brings more positive

more positive brings even more positive resulting in a infinite positive loop 

if you whip the entire team, 

then the entire team will become fast like the wind 

need to escape? 

just whip a teammate 

need more speed on offense? 

just whip a teammate 

dont have teammates? 

just whip the enemy with the extra range on whip and kill them anyway 

got nothing to do? 

whip a teammate and go fast anyway because you never know when you need the extra speed

in real life,there are no loadouts,
however,we have something called <perspectives>
by switching <perspectives> and thinking in a different way
we gain a new experience on how we see things


<most useless advice for heavy mains in 2022>
dont tunnel vision,
the more you tunnel vision,
the more you are unable to see everything in full scope,

in simple words,you forget to spycheck and see other important things




<tf2 and growth>
long time ago
when i played tf2 pubs
i thought
what am i playing for?
for fun?
what is fun?
being top score at the board?
winning the game?killing people with a fish and taunt after every kill? (edited)
being a conga master?
over coming a challenge?
or just blasting some mercs with rockets?
for the current me,i know what i am playing for
but for the past me
he is still seeking his ways
he wishes to win games
and yet
he realized that its an unrealistic goal
since everyone is playing the game in the way they want to
so he tried to seek the path of being top scored
and yet once again
he thought
being top scored doesnt feel much when all your opponents are too easy to beat
so he seeked another way,another way,and another way,and at last
the way of making as less "mistakes" as possible
and the way of self improvement
and always aim for his best performance
however
it was not an easy task
he would get emotional at many people(esply people that are better than him)
losing his way,his aim went to defeat his enemy
instead of focusing on improving himself
he become tunneled at his nemesis
he would be frustrated at why is him doing so bad
and then do even worse because his head is clouded with more emotions
the only way for him to jump out of this negative loop
is to once again
deal with his emotions and remember the path he seeks


what do you seek?

only you can decide that for yourself


<tf2 as a economic simulator 2022>
tbh
i dont know shit about economics,but i think tf2 has created a great trading environment
all i did was trading when i was like 20 years ago and didnt have the spare cash to buy hats so i am really outdated on trading
so i can get hats i like
all i remember was just
buy low
sell high
in the end
its still <supply and demand>
key price keep raising,because theres endless supply of refs(free weapons drops everywhere),and endless demand of keys(unboxing/using key as a currency/etc etc),and then theres people who do things to make the key price to raise because they have a lot of keys,theres much more different factors


thats my biased deduction,but i am sure theres many traders out there trying to influence the economy in their own ways,and trading will always be a part of tf2


<learning as a trader>
by communicating with others and learning from others traders
saying things like greetings and have a good day
taking overpay in items instead of taking pure ref/keys
and then selling them out back into the market in a good price,
checking out the <reputation> of your target trader before a big trade,
learning from all those people who got scammed so you dont repeat the same mistake as them
you are already improving as a <trader>




<appearance in tf2> 

ok so we finally traded enough scrap to buy all the dream hats but are they really just cosmetics? personally i think that having unusual does not make someone become a better player

however 

having unusuals increases your charismatic,

which also means that people may think that you are a good player and they may be more likely to assist you most commonly by playing pocket medics,

and viola,you now have the resource that you can decide to use them or not 

you can probably achieve the same result with being the top of the score board but well it takes time,

also unusual looks good and shiny

on the other hand it also means that the entire enemy team can also easily see you due to all those shiny effects which is actually a pretty big disadvantage when you play classes like sniper

<tf2 and mind games>
playing spy is mind games
when you try to stab a medic
you predict how a medic moves
vice versa for the other 8 classes
you learn how to act like a real player on the other team,so people may forget to spycheck
you walk to the east when cloaking,then turn west and misdirect the pyro
etc etc


playing against spy is even more mind games
as a heavy
i predict where the spy can decloak
when will the spy come,is the spy actually focusing me?
is the spy waiting for me to be distracted to go in?
is the spy going aggressive on me and going for trickstabs?
is the spy just going in whenever he sees a chance?
mind games,mind games
the more you understand how your opponent works,the easier your mind games become


pyro vs solly is even even more minds games
as a solly
what kind of pyro am i facing?
is it a wm1 pyro that i can just juggle him to death with rockets?
or is it a ugc plat kyo pyro that has 110% reflect accuracy that i must first bait his airblast then counter the hell outta him?


just the existence of a good opponent already limits a lot of your possible moves
just like tf2
life is full of mind games
understand your opponent
think like your opponent
then try to be 1~5 steps ahead of your opponent
but remember
dont mistake neutral units as an enemy
an neutral unit is an neutral unit








<how do i become better at tf2 the shooter?>
if you are new,just play the game first
everything you read will only be paper knowledge
not knowing how to actually apply it on the game
once you experienced enough where you feel like you are hitting a bottleneck
you can start reflecting and reviewing on your actions,
is this a mistake?
how do i do this better?
could i have done this better?
think,think,think and think even more
ask people for guidance
look for knowledge on the internet
think about ways of how to learn
grow




<tf2 as a competitve battle field in different scopes>
if tf2 is a war
then to win
you must put the right chess pieces at the right time
at the right place
you must understand what can each chess piece do
understand what kind of impact their actions will do,while playing the chess against the enemy <commander>
however
the <role:commander> does not exist in tf2
the closest thing we get
is the <maincaller> in competitive formats like <6s and highlander>
they are similar but different
i would talk more but i think it would take me forever
in a casual game of tf2
everyone do whatever they want
there is no <commander>
every chess piece is fighting for himself at the chessboard,while some player may wish to fight with you,having everyone going along with you sounds unrealistic
the chaotic nature of this chessboard
means that you should both have high expectations and low expectations for winning a casual game
despite the chaotic nature of this chessboard
if you still want to win
then you need to maximize your actions as a chess piece in this battlefield
but that is very not easy task
for someone to do that,they need to:
1.gather enough information to see the entire battlefield in a higher scope
(which is easiest to do when you are dead and can switch thr 11 other cameras to gather information)
2.decide if you wanna stick to the current class you are playing because you like it,or switch to another class because you really want to win despite the impossible odds
3.maximize your <effective time> as a chess piece
if i suicide bomb for this medic
and i know theres 99% success rate
is this a good plan?
or should i stay alive and aim to kill 3 enemies?
what is more important?
this is a stupidly hard task
because many different environments makes things different
if you know you have a (level 3 teleport)+(very short respawns times),then sacking for the med will be worth it most of the times if you know theres a high chance of success
but the battlefield is constantly changing in many different ways,<payload> plays by different rules,<koth> plays by different rules,<ctf> plays its in own rules
imo its just best to follow your experience and do what you feel best
because you need to save your brain power for the actual fights
<time> is an important resource in the battlefield
theres a reason why people say teleporter wins games
because imo
it saves a lot of <time>,where the chess piece can impact the battlefield earlier
while you are moving as a chess piece
everyone else is also moving,<time> is a precious resource


<git gud at tf2>
all those stuff i typed above?
thats useless if you dont even have the <ability> to do well
a newbie at tf2 who knows nothing of the class his playing
can only impact the battlefield very little
a better a <solly> is,the more he knows
he will know when to fight
when not to fight and run
how to fight and win
and how to maximize impact/damage despite being forced into a 1v5 environment


the higher your <ability> as a chess piece is
the more you can impact the battlefield
if you are only doing a 1v1
then all you need to do is play a small scope of mind chess against your enemy
predict his actions
and counter it(in in inaccurate nutshell,tf2 is a shooter where you kill the enemy before it kills you)
"unluckily"
on spam heavy gamemodes like payload
1v1 only happens often when you go to the side paths and seek for duels in <the not much man comes here lands>
some times its 1v2
sometimes its 1v1v1v1
sometimes its 1v5
sometimes its 5v1
sometimes its 2v2
the battlefield
is constantly changing
adapt
improvise
"survive"
(or die so you can push the cart at the last edge and win the game/,or just to get that sweet med pick because you find it cool)




by standing on this roof,i maintain <air superiority> and influence 70% of the entire battlefield
if people somehow break through the endless spam on the left side,then i rain rockets on them
if people try to break through from the middle,then i rain rockets on them
if people try to attack the sentries under me from the right side,then i jump to the right roof and rain rockets of them


<tf2 as a community sandbox>
and then tf2 became more than just a shooter
trading servers
idle/achievement servers
prop hunt
versus saxton hale/freak fortress 2
death run
dodge ball
slender fortress 2
MGE mod
Jailbreak
x10,x20,x100
Randomizer
and many many more
all of these different game mods all bring a new unique experience to tf2
a shooter can turn into a horror game
a shooter can turn into a trading simulator
a shooter can turn into a role playing game
tf2 became more than a shooter
to me
this a game of miracles
not made by gods
but made by man
a miracle
only doable by man
with their endless wisdom and willpower
i wish i could talk about all of them
but it would this "essay" that is already long enough even longer
so i will talk about my experience on freak fortress 2,as i am a long time player of it and once hosted my own server where i just do 90% of the stuff myself


<what is freak fotress 2?>
in another inaccurate nutshell
its a game mode of one man army vs the entire world
aka 1 boss vs 31 mercs
if you want to train your melee skills and other niche skills
then i think this would be a good place
because most freaks helps you practice your melee skills,as they only have melees


<what is a freak?>
i am not going to define that
instead i am just gonna talk about bosses
anything can be made into a boss


dio brando and freeze time?
yes
saxton hale?
yes
a trolldier boss where you go market garden everyone?
yes
levi and fly around the map using grappling hook and air dashes?
yes
megumin and nuking half the map?
yes
anything is possible
as long as you have the ability to do it
the potential of this game mode is very high(and very low)
the only thing binding it
is the limit of the tf2 engine and the server's cpu
when given enough proper modifications
i bias-ly think that this is the best game mode


<on the merc side>
things can also be very fun
a knife that stabs 100 times per seconds?
yes
an eyelander that has a stupidly large melee range?
yes
pyro airblasts being used as a mobility tool?
yes
punching the boss like tsar platinum in jojo while the boss punches you back as heavy?
yes
force of nature but it shoots so much bullet
you have to control the gun recoil,
in tf2 where there is 0 recoil on guns normally?
yes
launcher that launches slow ass guideable mini-nukes?
yes
a shotgun-grenade launcher?
yes
engineers buildings being as large as a gundam and they can hide inside it?
yes
flying around the map as a spy with grappling hook and a revolver that shoots rockets?
yes
wanna turn into a air bomber that fires of dozens of guide-able missiles?
if the server allows it
you can do it
a lot of wonderful things are possible
given that theres enough effort and love put into the server
that
is what i say from my 4 years of experience as a ff2 server owner


<so what really happens in game?>
nothing special
the boss kills people each with their unique set of abilities
while the mercs shoot at the boss,rolling the rtd dice and getting some funny effects(if the server has rtd plugin)
just that they can and will be fighting in many different interesting ways(yes including rock paper scissors somehow)
some servers also have their plugin that adds a progression system to the gamemode
as well as a store for different stuff


<my experience from hosting a ff2 server>
oh well
this part is gonna be another wall of text from my personal view
because i dont really know how to conclude this either


<the most important thing in hosting a server?>
its called PR
in an inaccurate nutshell
you are basically competing with every entertainment on earth
it doesnt matter if your server is the most fun and balanced server on earth
or have the most helpful and friendly admins
if no one is playing it
a shitty server is still 20 times better than a completely dead server


<fun and balance>
fun and balanced are interconnected




if you only aim for a fun experience for the boss
and forget about balance
then the mercs wont be happy when they get steamrolled every round
if you only aim to balance everything
and forget about fun
then what awaits you is nihil
what is the easiest way to balance everything?
that,is to only have one boss
a dull colorless boring server that only have one boss
in conclusion
fun and balance are both important
it is up to the dev to decide where do want to lean on more


<understanding freak fortress 2>
every boss have their own <health formula>
to decide a proper <health formula> that gives the boss player enough health to have fun
one must first have enough experience in playing bosses and mercs
then
he needs to understand what does the numbers mean
numbers are interconnected
in the simplest way i can explain <boss health>
<boss health> decides how many times the boss can <rage>(a number that increases,and when increased enough,the boss can spend it to use abilities)
the difficulty of playing the boss as a larger <boss health> allows the boss to make more mistakes
and well
boss dies when they run out of health
so it also means how much <damage> they can take
<total damage per player> is another number that depends on the palyer
some do 0~1000
some do 1000~2000
and some do 3000~6000+
in average i find the players in my server do around ~3000 damage per player
so i decide my <health formula> knowing that
the same applies for tf2 as a shooter
if you wish to be good at tf2
you must understand tf2
conclude different perspective from different classes
with each class being a 2d chessboard
combine them all together to make a 3d chessboard cube
understand everything
see everything


<have an ideal that supports you in the darkest time>
what is despair?
despair is when you accidentally broke your server
and it gets stuck in loop of restarting/crashing/restarting
and you have to fix it before people are playing again tomorrow
in simple words
you have guess a word that have 5 letters
but you get no hints
and yet
what must be done must be done
you guess and guess
until one of the word somehow hits


<renting servers>
oh my god please get a server that also provides fastdl and mysql database if viable
managing download times was a nightmare
and having a mysql database that isnt right next to your host machine?
end my suffering
given the amount of custom content in ff2,and most importantly,find a server provider thats worth trusting,do your review research or regret in pain


<listening to feedback>
"if you never hear other's feedback and reject all of them,then you will just become a self arrogant prick
but if you always accept other's [world view] without thinking about it,then you are just "borrowing" other peoples' values"
as a server owner
one must be open to feedback and keep an open mind
then decide what to do with it
otherwise your server will never grow


<controlling your emotions>
as a server owner
if you allow yourself to be taken over by your emotions
and lash out your emotions at others
then in my humble opinion
you have no good to be a server owner
you are actively harming the atmosphere of your community
with your toxicity
how can people have fun
when the server owner keep lashing out his emotions at others?


<backing up data>
tl;dr i didnt backup data often enough and got betrayed by the last server provider and lost months of progress because i could not withdraw the data on the ftp
its really really important
things can and will go wrong in real life and you will lose your data if you dont back up it


<first day of server hosting>
it was absolutely a shitfest
but i am glad the past me took the first step
and became who i am today




but hurry the fuck up and get in
life is full of success and failures
and only by learning from experiences
we can grow as a human
but if you dont take the first step and do nothing
you are allowing nothing to happen
while the world keeps changing and changing


<a desire for growth>
instead of locking yourself in your own server
also go play other ff2 servers
learn everything good from them
and avoid repeating their mistakes






<tf2 and "talent">
what is talent?
i am not here to define that
i am just gonna tell you what i believe
everyone have their strengths and weakness
and its up to yourself to decide what to do with it
lets say A is "talented" at <pyro>
being good at <pyro> makes him feels good
and this creates a positive loop where he continue to play <pyro>
and give him a incentive to grow
"interest is the best teacher"


now B maybe "talented" at <pyro>
but he suck as a <spy> and still wish to be good at <spy>
but it doesnt mean his "talent" is no use
a good <spy> will often deal with <pyro>
to avoid being caught by <pyro>
a good <spy> understand how a <pyro> think and moves and avoid being caught
and a easy way to do
is to switch perspectives
and this is where b can use his "talent" on <pyro> to help him understand how a <pyro> thinks
and once b plays enough <pyro> to have a basic understanding of how <pyro> thinks
b can now use his experience on <pyro> to help him improve as a <spy>
we may not be able to see it,but many things are interconnected to each other
which path is the "right" path?
hell if i know
only you can decide that for yourself
but if you ask me
isnt your "talent" a part of yourself too?




<grand_finale>
ah
team fortress 2
a game of miracle,a game of life


hackers
aimbots
traders 

friendlies 

competitive players 

normal players 

conga dancers 

all these different and conflicting players being mixed in a salad
only happens in a miracle game called tf2
where a food war is happening between the customers


a game that has been half my life,i had many hardships with tf2,and also many wonderful times with tf2
its my honor to be a part of this game
and create many memories with other players,
thank you,valve,for creating such a miracle with everyone else
if i can play one more exciting game of tf2 right before i die
then i am sure i can sleep in peace,without regrets
farewell
for now
if destiny guides us
then we will see each other
in a game of tf2


what will happen in life in the future?
what will happen to tf2 in the future?
the future is unknown
but
the possibilities are limitless
and we walk forward to the next future
step by step


statistics:
character count:~25000 i guess
time taken:a few weeks?or my entire life?
barrels of chips ate:1
amount of bifido drink-ed: 670ml
time spend on listening to music:too much
gotta sleep for work tomorrow?:yes